It's Bo Time

Will:

12/12/11

Today was the opening day of Bojangles here in Farmville and it was a mad house. This marks the second opening day restaurant attendance for the two fat guys, the first one being shogun. We set out for a late lunch around 1pm and cars were circled around the block. We ended up parking in the Tractor Supply parking lot and walking over. But the line persisted inside:

Now although the line was long, The "Bo Team" was very effective in moving people through. This was actually my first time ever in a Bojangles establishment and I opted to go with the chicken strips. When asked if I wanted to Bo size the meal to add an extra side I just could not resist. I ended up getting the cajun fries, creamy mac and cheese, and the "famous sweet tea":

Everything was great except the biscuit and the sweet tea. Now I would definitely consider myself a roll guy and I have a bias against biscuits but this biscuit left me wanting more. Also the sweet tea was not sweet enough. Overall a great meal for opening day. We left full and with a sign beckoning our sure to be a soon return for more:

The Thanksgiving Warm-Up

Will:

11/18/11

One of the holiest days on the Fat Guy’s calendars is Thanksgiving. It is the ultimate day of persistence and dedication to the sport of gluttony. And like any determined athlete, practice makes perfect. Thankfully the moans provides the student body with a thanksgiving feast days before the actual true holiday. This practice round along with year long gut busting training keeps us in tip top shape for the championship meal that is thanksgiving. I myself enjoyed the juicy white turkey meat, buttered corn, a light side salad, and a mountain of mash potatoes with a river of gravy flowing through them:

I was only able to tackle two plates of turkey and sides and one of rolls. While Ryan started strong with a turkey leg and kept the plates stacking:

Once again the moans provided a successful thanksgiving feast. The only thing that could have made it better would be if Dean Ramsay himself refilled my glass chalice of sweat tea. Stay full my friends.

Thanksgiving Dinner

By: Ryan

People have been asking me a lot of questions concerning the blog lately like "Hey Ryan why haven't you been updating your blog" or "Hey Ryan you should post on your blog soon because Will's blogs suck." So I've decided to start doing it again. Tonight was Thanksgiving Dinner in the commons, which is ironic because there is nothing "common" about the schools thanksgiving dinner. We left the house around 4:50 to beat the rush for dinner, but we were greeted by an extremely long line. People were going nuts trying to get in (they wont let us enter until exactly 5 o'clock) It was like watching abunch of Jerry Sandusky's trying to get into an all boys orphanage. Eventually the magical hour came around and we entered in to be greeted by one of the best dinners of the year. Everything was up to my standards, the turkey, the gravy, the cranberry sauce, and not to forget, the pumpkin pie, because I do love some pumpkin pie. And to top the night off, they guy carving the turkey's gave me one of the legs. I ate until my heart was content.

Remember- The meals not over when you're full, the meals over when you hate yourself.

-Ryan

Culinary Policy

Will:

10/24/11

Last week I strolled up to Richmond with some other Hampden-Sydney students to meet with alumni in the area. We met with one alumni over lunch down at the Richmond Federal Reserve Bank and had to snap a picture when he excused himself from the table. The meal was absolutely delicious:

Now eating at the FED is not for the light hearted. First I had to fight my way through the occupy richmond group protesting outside (I guess they are franchising their movement). Then you have to be screened in the security area which is outfitted with bullet proof glass and has its own resident rottweiler.

After finally making it to the lobby, it was quick elevator ride to the 23rd floor where the table was set and ready to go. Although not pictured the view from the 23rd floor of the FED has you looking directly over BB&T Capital Markets. I found this to be incredibly ironic that the employees at the FED have such oversight of banks even at lunch.

The meal itself left me simply craving more. I ate off the buffet and had perfectly buttered green beans, garlic mash potatoes, marinated pasta, juicy watermelon, and a mini beef filet. Now I am not a huge fan of government oversight and regulation, but I do think the Federal Reserve System should add a third mandate and try and take on regulating the restaurant industry.

Lunch at the TI

10/20/11

Will:

So last week I swiped my card to head down to the moans...and like most days everything there was awful. This day was particularly terrible to the point where I had to go to the TI. I am sure the Armark makes a killing off lazy kids like me that pay twice for lunch, once with the card and then decide to go to the TI.

I headed down to the TI and took a look at their ridiculous menu. For the past 3 months the oven has been broken. I even asked about the oven and they told me it was off at building and grounds being fixed. Thats right B&G fixes the TI ovens when they break, they don't hire a technician to come in, they just send it to the same guys that paint over mold.

Looking at what was left on the menu it becomes apparent very quickly that almost all the different meals are nothing more than chicken tenders wrapped up in different tortilla shells and mixed with different sauces. In fact I am almost sure the majority of the menu was just someone drunk in the kitchen with a ton of chicken tenders making up different names for dishes.

This being said I noticed that the lunch special was a turkey sandwich, bowl of mac and cheese and a softdrink all for 5 bucks:

I was pleasantly surprised to see that the turkey sandwich was made with actual carved turkey and not just old deli meat. Also the bread was of unusually high quality. Even though the mac and cheese left much to be desired, I would call the overall meal a success. And don't worry all you guys that have left the hill, the high quality service with a smile attitude is still completely nonexistent down in the TI!

Farmville: A Hibachi Paradise

Will:

9/6/11

So for our readers who are not located here in Farmville, or those who are but have been living under a rock, Farmville's Japanese restaurant population has exploded over the last year. We now have three Japanese restaurants which include: KJ Hibachi, Musashi Asian Cuisine, and last but not least Shogun. I would guess that Farmville now has one of the highest Japanese restaurant per captia, east of the Mississippi. Also don't be surprised if little Tokyo section of Farmville starts developing over the next year or two. That being said, the two fat guys have made sure to judge the restaurants not only on food but also ambiance.

This week we decided to tackle Shogun because it was the first Japanese restaurant in Farmville, it actually showed up on the scene at the end of last year. (Also they had quite a generous coupon in the annual "great deals" packets handed out to students). Shogun's location is almost humorous because it is located next to and shares a restroom with the "stop in" BP gas station in town:

The actual location of the restaurant seemed to matter little as I walked inside and admired the great Do It Yourself decorating job that greeted me:

Yes, that is the lighting inside Shogun. We have the beautiful standard gas station fluorescent lights that have been blotchily sprayed painted purple and orange. It is something that was extremely hard to capture in a picture and must truly be experienced by all. The romantic power these lights bestow on Shogun's partons would make Aphrodite herself quiver.

If that wasn't enough, when approaching my table I was able to truly appreciate Asian culture by taking in the decorations mounted on the wall:

I was readily calmed and relaxed by the beautiful Diet Pepsi can and plain stemless glassware on display. Also felt inspired by the more creative decoration of two mountain dews angled in a true showing of Asian craftsmanship.

But alas, all my quorums and laughter were silenced when the food was finally delivered:

I order the Hibachi Steak Tips medium and got exactly what I wanted. The perfect amount of food and taste left me thoroughly stuffed. The vegetables were crispy complemented the sauce and beef incredibly. I will have to say it was the finest meal I have had yet in Farmville this year. Just as we asked for the checks and were prepared to leave an absolute jewel was dropped upon us:

The orange was the sweetest I have ever had in Farmville and was a great ending to the meal but for its sweet taste and absolute surprise appearance.

Overall Shogun gets a fat guy approved rating on its food but not on its decore, perhaps a perfection option for takeout? Stay hungry my friends.

Two Fat Guys One Tailgate

Will:

9/4/11

The first Hampden-Sydney football game was a huge win...63 to 9 over Averett. But who cares? the real competition was down at the tailgates over beef tenderloin, ham biscuits, and Bloody Marys. The tailgating was comparable to years past and included: mimosas, jack & coke, popcorn chicken, Gruyere cheese with crackers, and even the occasional fruit:

Besides what I would consider a rather well done beef tenderloin, The tailgate was a complete success. I left stuffed and craving a good 4pm to 7pm nap that many individuals (who may have been over-served) usually fall victim to. A good tailgate is a key to a great football weekend. Remember it doesn't matter how many touchdowns you score...only how many chicken wings you can bear to consume.

"Brunch" at Ruby Tuesdays

RYAN: 8/27/11

Ask any seasoned bruncher and they will tell you that there is no brunch served on Saturdays. Just the thought of brunch on a Saturday just doesn't feel right. It's like ordering lamb well done.... It just doesn't happen. Anyway, friends of mine thought that it would be a good idea to go to Ruby Tuesday for brunch on Saturday morning. I thoroughly explained to them that it won't be served, but they insisted. I figured I'd go along for the ride (I needed a good laugh.) After we got settled in and the staff explained that brunch is something done on Sunday's, they decided to stay. (I decided it was close enough to lunch time to go ahead and order lunch.) I ordered the Mini's and Salad Bar, more specifically, the buffalo minis. Very tasty.... I had to order some extra buffalo sauce on the side, because it wasn't quite hot enough, but other than that it was a very enjoyable lunch. Remember, brunch is a verb..... and it's done on Sundays.

Light Lunch In the Moans

Will:

8/29/11

Today, I found myself barely making it into Panhill Commons (The Moans) before they closed up shop. As I did the casual loop around to see what was being offered, I was greeted with the usual...I hate you look that just warms your heart and soul. Seeing the limited offerings I defaulted to the sandwich bar and stuck with an exciting turkey sandwich and a glass of water:

Now, I have a "honeymoon" period with the moans for at least the first couple of meals when I arrive back on campus after prolonged breaks, so don't look for a hate-filled post questioning the overall legitimacy of Armark as a food service provider quite yet. (I assure you they will follow soon). Instead this meal/sandwich was delicious, the quality of the turkey was much better than I recall from last year and the water was....well water. This fat guy was well fed at lunch...but remains cautious of further moans experiences.

Lunch at Ruby Tuesdays

After the disturbing lunch at La Parota on Monday, The Two Fat Guys decided to go with the safest bet around..... Ruby Tuesdays. I decided to the zucchini cakes, with roasted red peppers and feta cheese. I was very pleased with the quality and taste of the cakes, however I wasn't pleased with the portion size, and if that wasn't enough, they brought me the wrong order. So after drooling over zucchini minis with a huge side of onion rings, they plop down my actual order, with sides of broccoli and mashed potatoes. (Not they way to get on a fat guys good side). So basically I'm 0-2 thus far in meal choice, but there is many a meal to come.....

Lunch at La Parota

Ryan:

8/22/11

For season opener we made the decision to go to La Parota for an early lunch. The meal was off to a bad start when they didn't have any hot sauce for me to put in my salsa (enough reason for me not to go back for awhile). I ordered the number 14 (burrito, enchilada, rice, and beans.) I was rather disappointed in my meal. The portion size is very unfriendly, and the burrito tasted like burnt cardboard. I was only able to get down a few bites before I was so disgusted I had to get up and leave. A rather poor experience for my first lunch back in Farmville, but tomorrow brings a new day with new opportunities. Remember, life is too short to eat bad food.

The Two Fat Guys open the Farmville Restauranting Season at La Parota

Will:

8/22/11

First day back on campus...and already frustrated with Blake's A inability to give me a room quoting a "housing freeze"...We decide to head into town for a quick lunch....at the time La Parota seemed to be a delicious option...We were horribly mistaken. I ordered the taco salad:

It was at the moment that the salad arrived that I quickly realized I had way too much optimism about the food in Farmville. After about a half hour burrowing through the top layer of cheese and making my way to soggy bottom I slowly became sick to my stomach and had to abandon the meal. A failure in my book, at least one of the fat guys went home hungry today.